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AGE AND CHANGE.
A lot of things change with age. Perhaps it has something to do with the rhyme between the two words, or not, but the truth remains that change is inevitable. Change is marked over time, and age changes with time. So, that goes on to say that, ‘change’ and ‘age’ go together.
If we are to delve into the subject of change, exploring the depths and inflections, it would likely take several volumes of publications to complete, but this is only a blog article, so let’s keep it simple. There is a specific aspect of this change that is the focus of this article: seasons.
How do seasons change as we age? Precisely, the seasons under consideration here is the festive period that comes at the end of each year, namely the Christmas celebrations(mostly) and the New Year celebrations. This can still be extended to cover other seasons and even birthdays as well.
THE CHRISTMAS IDEAL.
As a kid, there was no time as magical as this. It was usually the high point of the year for many and is awaited with extreme anticipation. Some even start a countdown to Christmas from months before.
It was the time for presents, special meals, eating in huge abominable quantities, visiting relatives, snowball fights, carols, funfairs, decorations and fancy lights, holidays with enough time to do whatever you please. It was the time for anticipation, new hopes, and expectations for the coming year. These and more were the things that made Christmas such a magical season. Oh, of course, there’s also the supernatural father of all gifts, Santa Claus! Or Father Christmas as is popularly known in some parts. What more to anticipate than a special visit from Santa while you are asleep, to grant you all the wishes and gifts you desire.
WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS? Why Does it Feel Less Like Christmas as you age?
Now as a person ages, with each passing year, it seems as if this excitement dwindles. Eventually, at some point, that Christmassy feeling is just not there anymore. Now, this is a truth, as many people report this on social media, on Quora, etc. Even friends and relatives give this feedback. The question then is, who stole the spirit of the season? Why does it feel less like Christmas as you age?
WHY DO WE FEEL LESS EXCITED ABOUT THE SEASONS EACH YEAR?
There are many reasons for the drop in excitement about Christmas with age, and it’s not just because Mr. Grinch stole Christmas. It is not because something is wrong with you either. As prior established, many people have reported the same thing. Let’s reason out a few.
YOU ARE AGING, GROWING UP.
Well, isn’t it begging the question to say that the reason Christmas feels less exciting as you age is that you are aging? But it is true too. And it’s not the first reason for nothing. If you never aged, then you might still have your head floating in a cloud of Christmas magic.
What happens as we age? A lot of things.
- We understand things better as we age: We know how things happen. We can read the calendar and see when what day Christmas falls on. As kids, we just have the idea that “Christmas is coming”, but when exactly? Well, it’s just coming, and that’s beautiful enough already. Oh, the magic of anticipating.
- What? No Santa?: Perhaps what made Christmas most special was the thought of Santa Claus or Father Christmas in some parts. The myths built around this pot-bellied, long-bearded man riding in with his reindeer were a major part. He’s coming to drop special presents of what you’ve expected all year long under the Christmas tree. Now, with age, you understand things better, and you know there’s no such ‘thing’ as a Santa Claus. Poof! Sorry, magic is gone. Now you know that the presents under the tree were put there by a parent. Now you know the man on the side of the road or at the park at the Christmas party wearing a red and white suit with a bag slung over his shoulder is not Santa, but your uncle, teacher, or the local handyman.
- Now you have to buy the presents. Then as a kid, you just have to wake up all excited and run to the tree and find loads of presents. Now, you also have to buy presents for others. Maybe you now have kids of your own. Well, you are buying this time, sorry. As a result, there’s less expectation on your part.
- Now you have to do the cooking and all that comes with cooking, including lugging the groceries, doing the frying, standing at the kitchen sink, choking on oil vapor, baking… You are no longer allowed the luxury of playing around while the food cooks.
- Now you worry about the goals that you set: As you age, the ‘reality of life dawns on you.’ You’ve had goals set for the year, and instead of jumping about screaming Christmas carols, you are off to one side as the traditional thinking figure maybe with a paper and pen, trying to figure out how many of your goals you were able to achieve, and how to adjust them for the coming year. It has become a time of reflecting in the rear-view mirror. This is also true of why you feel less excited about birthdays each year.
CONDITIONING: YOU GET USED TO IT.
Conditioning is essential to survival, and in fact, adaptation is a basic characteristic of all living things. If you didn’t get used to the sound of crashing thunder, you’ll likely go into a state of panic every time you hear thunder boom. If you work in a factory, the noise of the machinery would make you quit your job if you never get used to it. Adaptation is essential for survival.
On the other hand, you also get used to the positive things, and you lose the excitement in them. I bet the last time you went to the stadium, it wasn’t quite as exciting as the first time there. Your first time eating a delicacy is likely going to be the best because, with time, you get used to the taste. Sights and sounds lose their novelty also.
This also happens for Christmas, New Year, and other festive celebrations, including birthdays, making you less excited about them. You’ve had it last year, and the year before, and the year before, and the year before and… You get the idea. The things that happen at Christmas are no longer new. Yes, the novelty is lost.
Likely, instead of enjoying the moment, you’re constantly comparing it to the last similar one you had. Instead of wolfing the chicken and enjoying it, you’re comparing against what last year’s tasted like, or how much bigger it was last year, and whether it could have been better. You get used to the gatherings, the music, the movies of the season and all.
The things that happen at Christmas are no longer new. Yes, the novelty is lost.
EVERYTHING, TIMES AND SEASONS, ALL BLEND TOGETHER.
As we age, times and seasons blend. Time becomes like a monotonous arrhythmic drone with a few distinct markers. Eventually, nothing seems to matter anymore.
Now, this doesn’t happen for everybody. For some, these distinct markers are seasons like Christmas and the dawn of a New Year, Easter, birthdays, etc. On the other hand, for some, it doesn’t matter. These people see everything as going in cycles: it came last year, it is here this year, and it will be here next year again. Everything blends in together. There seems to be no reason for the hype of the season. They have grown out of the feelings of the seasons. Now, why has this happened? It could be that they are not stimulated by the events that go on anymore, they are so super-adapted that it becomes unexciting.
As we age, times and seasons blend. Time becomes like a monotonous arrhythmic drone with a few distinct markers. Eventually, nothing seems to matter anymore.
WHAT’S THE HYPE IN CHRISTMAS AND OTHER SEASONS?
Did you say Christmas? Well, what’s the hype? There are those to whom Christmas isn’t a big deal, like those above, but for different reasons. For them, it is not that they are so super adapted that the seasons become less exciting. The simple fact is just that they have other things to worry about.
They are less concerned about special dates in the calendar. There are bills to be paid, work to be done, contracts to be completed or won, an impending exam after the holidays, endless work shifts to be attended. There just seem to be too many to worry about than one day in the year where everyone wears red and white and hangs fancy lights and eats fancy foods. There’re too many jumbled-up thoughts in the murk for Christmas to take precedence.
A TRICK OF MEMORY AND EXPECTATIONS.
Did you know that, as time passes, sweet memories can seem to be more golden than they are? That’s right. You remember the memories better than they were. You had such a good time that each time you remember it, you feel it was better.
Based on these golden memories, you begin to build your expectations high for the next Christmas. Unfortunately, because you remember something better than what actually happened, chances are that this Christmas won’t be as exciting as the last one. The higher you build your expectations, the less likely it is that these expectations will be met. Hence, a relatively disappointing Christmas.
CHEERS TO THE ONES…
For many, Christmas is less Christmassy because their favorite song for the period is “Cheers to the ones…” or something similar. The memories are not just the same.
With age, families have separated, people have gone their different ways, scattered across the nation or even the world. That togetherness that was part of the spirit of the season is no longer there, it is no longer felt. No amount of video call hours can replicate it.
The separation is not only distance in some cases. It could be a separation beyond physical dimensions. Lost loved ones are remembered, and there are thoughts of what this or that person would have done, what it was like the last Christmas with them around.
We compare seasons using the people that are or were around us as reference points. Exploring the Psychology of Reference Points, the strongest of our reference points are other people.
DRAWING IT ALL UP.
What makes Christmas, really? What makes a birthday exciting? What is new about the New Year? Christmas is what we make it to be, what we expect it to be. Christmas is what we’ve been taught to see, what we’ve been conditioned to expect. The excitement in Christmas is of the stories told.
we can’t reasonably expect that the same things that will excite a six-year-old about Christmas will get a sixteen-year-old ticking, and even less likely a twenty-six-year-old… then we need to upgrade what we derive excitement from.
As we age, our objectives change, our outlook is modified, and we can’t reasonably expect that the same things that will excite a six-year-old about Christmas will get a sixteen-year-old ticking, and even less likely a twenty-six-year-old.
As the times change, then we need to upgrade what we derive excitement from. There’s excitement in everything, not just Christmas. The question is: what do you expect? That’s a crucial factor in determining whether you feel any excitement or not, whatever the season, event, or situation might be.
- Santa can’t excite you anymore(except you are playing the part in deceiving the next generation), so find something else about the season to excite you.
- You don’t have a lot of people gifting you items? Find excitement in buying, wrapping gifts, and giving them to others.
- Do you have to do the cooking now? Do it with joy.
It is where you are now, and you have to find some excitement in it. Revamp the season to suit the new you in your own way.
So, hey, pray tell, how will you will spice up your next Christmas or birthday or wedding anniversary what-have-you?
What Do You Think? 